


Color

by WantonJustice



Series: Color [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Eventual Sex, Forgive Me, I mean, M/M, Soulmates, agnst, angst all the time, geovin - Freeform, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-01-14 15:26:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1271689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WantonJustice/pseuds/WantonJustice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whether you like it or not, destiny has decided who you're matched with, and you'll know who once you see them.</p><p>Geoff thinks destiny should stuff it and wants nothing to do with the boy who let him see green. Destiny has never been nice to Geoff.</p><p>Soulmate AU where when you meet your soulmate you get to see colors, when you lose your soulmate you also lose those colors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Green

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfiction. I am in love with Soulmate AUs and Geovin and found there wasn't enough in this fandom. I will update as often as I can and promise to finish this story, there's nothing more horrible than an unfinished story!  
> It starts off sort of slow, mostly background stuff that's important to the plot, so please, bear with me!

There was a large crash, followed by the worried noises of his mother. He stood abruptly, throwing off his covers and rushing towards the upstairs bathroom. The air was cold as he pushed the door open, his mother knelt on the floor, glass surrounding her. The light engulfed by the blackness of her dress.  
“I-I didn't mean to,” Her hands shook as she picked up pieces of glass, “I wanted water but water is wet and slippery and I slipped,” She continued at a fast pace.  
Geoffrey stood there, exhausted and annoyed with her. She continued to ramble as he grabbed her arm, forcing her to stand and drop the shards of glass. There were specks of blood on the tile and more followed them as he walked her to her room.   
“Where's your father? Tell him to bring the broom,” She almost said absentmindedly, before looking up at Geoff with almost fright. Her eyes watered as she fumbled, trying to apologize as she grabbed at her son's arm, leaving blood prints on his pale skin.  
“Ma, shh,” He was growing frustrated with her as he pulled her hands off him. He stood, leaving her talking, and went to retrieve bandages.  
He wrapped both knees and after inspecting that her fingers were alright, left her under her blankets. He could hear her sobs before he closed the lights. He left the first aid in her room.  
There wasn't that much glass, it was a fairly small cup. Geoff knelt, picking the largest pieces as he fought the burning behind his eyes. He was left to clean up after the mess his parents left. He swallowed as he swept the tinier pieces into the trash. Geoff stood, annoyed and pissed, picking at the skin on his arm. He disregarded the wet dark mess on the floor, before running to his bedroom, slamming the door and gasping. The house shook as he pulled at his hair. He crumbled on the floor by his door, leaning down and pushing his forehead to the dirty carpet.

Geoff picked up drinking a few months later. He would swallow the dark liquid and pick at his skin, wallowing in his own pity. Left to grieve on his own he chose the destructive route. His arm was lined with scars, scabs being reopened. He skin was pale and his eyes sunken, tired and a permanent state of annoyance. He was 16 years of age when he gave up.  
He was midway through his 3rd drink of the day when he heard the loud crashing. He was tempted to ignore it, to simply crawl into his bed and cradle his bottle. But his mother was all he had left as he fumbled towards his parents bedroom.  
He opened the door, catching his mother mid swing. The picture frame hit the corner of the dresser, smashing and flipping by his feet. Her face was red and wet, snot wiped across her cheek. She paid no mind to him as she pulled more frames off the wall. The room was a disarray, his father's clothes littered the floor and later he'd find more strewn across the lawn.  
He settled the yell in his throat as he grabbed for her, wrapping his arms around her. She screamed at him, swinging and managing to push more frames off the dresser. She cussed at him, biting his arm. He yelled then, straight into her ear, frustrated with how everything turned out. She started sobbing then, great loud ugly noises that settled in the bottom of his stomach and pricked his eyes. All his pity for her was drained a month into this hell.  
“What are you doing!” He yelled once more as she knelt on the floor, taking him down with her. She was gasping as her fingers wrapped around the picture that was thrown at him. He fell to the floor beside her, glass cutting into his skin as he too started sobbing, looking at the mess around him. All at once he wanted to cry and continue her rage, wanted to toss every single thing in that room that reminded him of his father out the window.  
“I can't see,” She managed, staring at the picture. It was the three of them, three months before his father left. His father looked tired, but not anymore than usual.  
He watched his mother in realization, watching as her eyes scanned the picture. She can't see. Her colour left her. He watched as she broke in front of him, either not caring or forgetting that her 16 year old son was there.  
That was when it broke. When the small tiny thing inside of him decided that he had had enough, that the price of love doesn't add up to the pain of losing said love. He felt the sick in his stomach as he removed the picture from her hands, grabbing her arm and forcing her to stand. He walked her over to the bed, throwing everything that was on the bed onto the floor and setting her there.  
Deja vu settled over him as he tucked her in, fully clothed and still sobbing. He cleaned around her, to the sad noises that came from her. He picked up broken picture frames and ripped clothing, salvaging everything just so he could put them in a box and forget they ever existed.  
As he organized the mess his mother made he took a vow. He told himself that he will never meet his colour. He will never seek them out, he will settle with Grey if that means he will never end up like his mother..

His mother never talked about his father. She stayed holed up in her room, coming out when her human needs called for it. Geoffrey took it upon himself to attend to the household chores. To do dishes, made sure they stayed fed, and their clothes didn't reek of grief. They didn't talk at all, and wouldn't for a long while.  
Even though life is Grey up until you meet your Colour, it's all a very muted Grey. Different shades of the colour. School taught you the different shades, art teachers were married and matched, their colour already there, as they pointed to each shade and said this grey was given this name. Art was useless, it was an easy credit. He only got to grade 10 art before he dropped out. He never gave art class any mind.  
He did odd jobs while they continued to live off their fathers life insurance. He met Jack before he turned 17 while he was helping with construction. The tall bulky man was a year younger than him, a kid with a summer job and the can-do attitude about simply everything. They got along, despite Jack being wholesome and Geoff being a textbook delinquent with an alcohol dependency. Geoff moved on from construction at 22, he didn't move on from his friendship.  
“I'm just saying, who cares? It's fucking colour, dude, I think I can live without knowing what the fucking sky looks like,” Geoff stressed the word “sky” his eyes wandering up at the plane that flew over them. His hand was idly picking at a scar on his arm.  
Jack looked at him disapprovingly, he had the beginning of a beard growing on him and was beginning to look like more of a man than Geoff, “Yes, but, don't they all look happy? Don't you want to be that happy? They look almost delirious, what I wouldn't give to look that happy!”  
Jacks hands were waving in the general direction of a few couples that sat around the benches in the park, Geoff watched as they chatted and notice they did an excess of touching, “It's gross.”  
“You're gross.”  
“Mature.”  
“Actually, what's super gross, is you picking at your arm while we're eating,” Jack made a show of moving away from him, taking a bite of his sandwich way out of reach of Geoff, “It's completely nasty and not to mention make you look like a crackhead.”  
“What-the-fucking-ever, at least I'm not eating my hair every time I take a bite out of something,” Geoff removed his hand anyway, running it through his hair.  
“Uh huh,” Jack wiped a hand under his nose, “When do you have to go back to work?”  
He twisted his wrist to look at his watch, a cheap brand that needed to be replaced every few months, “In about 15?” He put his own sandwich aside, finishing half and not bothering with the rest.  
“How's it going anyway? Work sucks without you there slacking off.”  
“Aw, miss me?” Geoff teased, pawing at Jack's leg, “Every once in a while they'll make me play secretary, which blows, but I'm slowly gonna become full fledged.”  
“You make everything sound like a video game,” He pushed his hands off him, finishing off the last of his lunch.  
“It's what I do,” Geoff stretched back on the bench they were sitting on, bathing in the sun like a cat. The tattoos on his arms made him appear brighter compared to the stark blankness of the bench, the scarring on his left had the ink slightly broken.  
Jack crumpled up their garbage, tossing Geoffrey's remains for the birds, and continued to people watch.

“Hey, you're on desk duty, mister,” Alistair said before Geoff had a chance to sit.  
“Where's Hester? Wasn't she just here?” He stood with his hand on the back of his chair, annoyance rolled off him. He was looking forward to getting that much closer to becoming a tattoo artist, he was never going to get there if he kept being tied to the front chair.  
“Family emergency, it's not my fault you're an apprentice,” He shrugged almost in an apology.  
He groaned loud and long as he made his way back to the front of the store, ending just as a customer walked in.  
He was a month into this job and he still hasn't gotten anywhere. The people were alright, in fact, the people were great. The atmosphere was great. The walk here was short and he didn't have to wake at 6 in the morning to make it on time. Geoffrey idly looked through the schedule on the computer, lost in thought, noting the lack of appointments for the day. At least he wasn't going to have to deal with customers all day.  
He almost missed the loud gasp, followed by quick foot steps and almost a stumble. He couldn't have missed the hand that forced itself into his view.  
And suddenly he was overtaken by the colour green. It wound itself around the strangers hand and up their arm, thorns and roses randomly sprouted up the vine. He found himself gasping and suddenly in a panic, instinctively reaching out and touching the arm, almost crying when the almost tan skin moved beneath his own. He was certain he wasn't dreaming.  
“Hi,” The owner of the hand spoke up, his own eyes looking intently at Geoff's expression, the irises blown.  
Geoff looked up to see a boy, younger than him, with a look of almost pure ecstasy on his face. His eye's were hazel, hazel! And his hair was a mess of light brown that stuck up in a haphazardly way, giving him a sweet adolescent look. Neither of them moved their touching hands, Geoff felt himself starting to panic. He focused in on that panic, wanting to forget the feelings that bubbled up his throat. How, all at once, he felt a euphoria that was all too similar to the first time and last time he smoked up.  
“I'm Gavin,” He said when Geoff didn't reply. He continued his mild panic attack all while his eyes traced the boys face, he wanted to run. This is not a situation he wanted to be in, even though the kid was cute and had an accent that made him want to swoon, he still wanted a hole to swallow him up.  
A bell rung behind him, indication the arrival of another customer, bringing Geoff out of his daze in an instant. He pulled his hand back and looked away from him, even though it pained him, ignoring the look of confusion on his face.  
“Hi, I have an appointment?” A girl stood off to the side, giving them both strange looks.  
“Uh, right,” He answered breathlessly. Geoff fumbled with the mouse before clicking onto the schedule, doing his best to calm himself and ignore the person standing before him. He saw the different colours of the different days on the schedule, noting the blue of the computer and how the light that came from the mouse was red. “Name?” He managed, dragging his eyes from the red.  
“Ashley?”  
“Right, I'll just go and get your artist,” He stood up mechanically, leaving the desk and turning down a long hallway. His colour followed him though, he could hear the footsteps behind him. His eyes scanned the hallway and the artwork that littered the walls.  
“Hey,” He said, getting no reply, “Hey!”  
“Don't fucking yell,” He hissed before opening a closed door and leaning in, informing the artist of his customer.  
“What's your name?” The boy ignored the command, grabbing his hand and pulling him to a stop.  
“Shut up,” Geoff pulled him towards the end of the hallway, into a break room, thankfully empty. He shut the door behind them.  
“What's your name!” He demanded, almost in a whiny tone, clutching at his hand as if he'd run away. Geoff was tempted to. The boy never took his eyes off his face.  
“Geoff,” He sighed, struggling to get the words out, “Now leave.”  
“What?” Gavin gave him a confused look, “Why?”  
He found himself unable to give a reason, he looked panicked, removing his hand from his colour's and running it through his hair. He didn't want to break the kids heart and tell him he doesn't want a colour, but at the same time he didn't want to explain his life story and the promise he made when he was sixteen. He turned around, away, and gnawed on his bottom lip, “I can't do this, alright?” He rushed out.  
“Do what?” He pulled on Geoff, forcing him to turn and look at him. He gripped his hand with the vine with Geoff's own, making him look at how sudden the green was against his tan skin.  
“This,” He mumbled, indicting their hands. The boy gave him a look, one that would have made him kiss him if it wasn't for his pride and promise.  
“Why not?” Gavin watched Geoff struggle with his words, he too felt almost panic. He thought it would take him years to meet his colour, his parents were in their late 20s when they met. His heart was racing and he felt faint, it could be because Gavin was still clutching to his colour.  
“I wasn't supposed to meet you!” Geoff never made any attempt to remove his hand despite his protest, he shouldn't feel like his heart was breaking but it was.  
“Obviously you were!” Gavin shouted back, his brow furrowing, didn't Geoff understand how this worked?.  
“I mean,” He held his breath, the words escaping him. “Not right now!” He said, an easy way to get the boy away, he felt himself faltering, he needed to get away. Needed to stop touching the surprisingly soft skin with the colour he was going to dream about for months.  
“Not right now?”   
“Later, I'm working,” He pulled his hand back, “Later, meet me later.”  
“Later? You sure?” Gavin grinned at him, and Geoff would be a liar if he said the sight of it didn't make him happy.  
“I'll call you...” He opened the door, motioning Gavin through with a few quick motions of his hand. He hoped that would get the boy leave, give him an excuse.  
Gavin ignored the strange feeling in the pit of his gut as he pulled a pen from his bag, grabbing at Geoff's hand and scribbling numbers down, making a small heart as he finished. His hand was sweaty but he managed.  
“I'll be waiting,” He smiled at the older man, his face tinting red as he rushed down the hallway. Geoff listened to the sound of the bell before pulling his phone out.  
“I just saw you, you can not miss me that much,” Jack's voice was muffled by the sound of construction around him.  
“I need to see you, right now,” Geoff was pacing around the room, his eyes dashing to every colour that surrounded him. He was panting slightly, the panicking starting to fade in bits.  
“Awe, you do miss me that much?” He laughed.  
“Emergency, like I'm dying emergency,” He groaned, “Not actually dying emergency an almost dying emergency,” He was acting like a baby about the situation.  
“Can't it wait till five?” His voice took a serious tone as the noise around him got muffled.  
“N-no, it can't,” He took a deep breath, “Just hurry the fuck up, pick me up at work.”

“What's the matter?” Jack said as Geoffrey slid into his truck.  
“Your car is burgundy, you're a fucking ginger, and your drink is blue,” He said in one breath, sitting down and staring straight ahead as Jack gave him a surprised look.  
“You met them...” Jack didn't start driving, instead turning fully towards him. He watched as Geoff tried to starve off another threatening panic attack.  
“I did, I fucking did,” Geoff lead forward, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, “He looked like a fucking high school student and had these hazel eyes and this tattoo that made me want to cry,” And he almost did, he was going to.  
“Then why the hell are you panicking? Shouldn't you be with them?” Jack was completely confused, he watched as Geoffrey pulled at his hair in frustration.  
“Because I wasn't supposed to meet them, I was supposed to be avoiding them for the rest of my life, shit!” And he continued to swear in one long ramble, pulling at his hair.  
“You know that's kind of impossible right? Unless you're an honest to god asexual, you're going to end up meeting them whether you want to or not,” He ignored Geoff's attempt to interrupt, “No, shut up for once,” He held up his hand, “even if you're an asexual you will meet someone. I know you have this weird thing about this soul mate stuff but will you get the fuck over it? Some wait years and decades to meet their colour and you had the luck to meet them at 22 in a job you had the luck of getting! Stop bitching before I smack you,” Jack gave an exasperated sigh, completely frustrated with Geoff, he was done with Geoff's whining two years ago.  
Geoff turned a glare on his friend, even though he should feel grateful, he felt more panicked. “It's not going to work, one of us will disappear or die and leave the other completely fucked up!”  
“Christ,” Jack sat back, “Not all crash and burn, sometimes there is no rhyme or reason as to why things happen but you've got to trust this dumb destiny crap.”  
They sat in silence while Geoff thought through the situation. He couldn't risk it. To the day he continues to watch his mother struggle to get out of bed, leaving only when the suns gone down and the house is shrouded in darkness. At night everything is still grey. Even though Jack was making some sense, he still could not risk it. Even though he was already feeling attached to the boy with the lanky body and funny accent, he just couldn't. There are things Geoff might break, like bones and bottles and his xbox the day it crashed, but he wouldn't break a promise, even if said promise was said in anger and resentment at age 16.  
“Fine, whatever, let's get out of here, I need a fucking drink,” He had turned away from Jack, instead leaning forward and staring at his shoes.  
Geoff still saved the number on his phone, even though he had no intention of calling.


	2. Purple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sober Geoff is upset with drunk Geoff. Gavin convinces Geoff to try at the whole soul mate thing, so the boys drink till a phone call brings one of Geoff's nightmares to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late late LATE update. I don't currently have internet at the moment, it sucks. I have the whole story planned out, I just need to write it out. Thank you for the great comments and everything, it means a lot, especially since its my first posting!

Geoff woke slowly, waking mid turn with his eyes closed. He pushed his back against the cool wall behind him as he felt the headache behind his eye lids, trying his best to keep the light from interrupting his sleep. He vaguely remembers drinking last night, more than he should have he admits. He wished he remembered the night, at least to make this hangover worth it. He remembers going out with Jack, drinking for hours, he can't remember if they went out or not. He hears the distant hum of his mother in the next room, he listened to her move around her bedroom before going quiet once more.

He thought of his rough night. He drinks to forget his day life, but the nightmares that follow him makes him rethink every drink. His parents are stuck in bloody hospital beds, their limbs tied down and their eyes rolled back. And every time he reaches them and pulls at the ties that bind them, they start to puke blood, choking and trying to speak. He always goes for his father first, but he goes first. His mother continues to suffer as Geoff starts to panic, he wakes before she goes.

He slept for ten more minutes till his bladder started to hurt. He opened his eyes and immediately regretted it, the sudden splash of colour making him want to burying himself in his blanket. He crawled out and stood still for a few moments, trying to calm the nausea that rose up his throat.

He made it to the bathroom and went back to curl into bed, thanking god it was Sunday and they aren't open Sunday. He was settle for two minutes before he heard his phone going off beneath him the vibrations making his teeth chatter. He groaned, turning over and knocking his hand into the wall before digging beneath him and grabbing hold of his phone.

“What?” He mumbled, burying his face into his pillow and setting the phone on his face.

“Geoffrey?” He stopped breathing once he heard Gavin's voice.

“How'd you get my number?” He barely whispered, kicking his blankets off, placing the phone by his ear.

“You called me last night, pretty sloshed,” He heard the smile in his voice. Geoff turned his hand to the light, the numbers smudged. Sober Geoff had no intention to call the lad, drunk Geoff had different intentions apparently.

“Oh god,” He probably said something idiotic, probably made promises he wouldn't be able to keep no matter how badly he wanted too.

“Don't worry, you didn't tell me any dirty secrets,” He heard Gavin moving around on the other end, probably pacing his room, his voice teasing.

“What the fuck did I say?” He wanted to sit up but he didn't want to throw up while on the phone.

“You asked what I was doing, and started talking nonsense about green and video games and to be honest I kind of zoned out mid conversation and just listened to you ramble,” Gavin chuckled, Geoff enjoyed the sound of it.

“Oh good I didn't say something completely fucking stupid,” He curled over again, facing the wall and feeling stupid for not closing the blinds. He kept the phone close to his ear before closing his eyes.

“Are you hungover?” He heard rustling, he was probably getting in bed.

“Painfully so,” There was no point in lying, Gavin heard him last night.,

“Do you need anything?” His voice was hushed now, both their voices. Geoff wondered what he slept in, before banishing the thought before he could entertain himself with the idea, wouldn't be smart too.

He didn't want to answer, he was in a venerable state, he didn't want to tell him. They sat silent on the phone, Geoff fighting nausea and the urge to call his colour over, Gavin growing frustrated with Geoff's silence and what seems to be utter horror at being mated with someone younger than him.

“There have been younger mates, you know,” Gavin paused, Geoff didn't say anything, “And we're mates for a reason. My friend, Michael, got mated with this bloke who calmed him down. Michael was always raging about something, his mate, Ryan, kept him grounded,” He was almost whispering now, he could hear his voice wavering, “ Ryan is completely mad though, but that's not the point. Point is, there have been times when people didn't mesh right and rarely do they split-”

“What are you saying?” He questioned, his voice cracking. He searched this up, of course he did, about mates splitting and either finding someone else or spending the rest of their life alone. You kept your colour till you meet someone new and the colours flip or one of you dies. Hearing Gavin talk about it made his chest ache.

“I'm saying, we can split,” Geoff felt his mouth getting dry as he tried to listen, his headache pushing as the base of his skull, “But can we at least try first?”

Geoff was starting to wonder if he said more than Gavin said he did.

“I'm too old to give you the life you want,” He said after an extended silence, trying to veer the conversation off course.

“How do you know what kind of life I want?”

Geoff didn't know. All he knew was that Gavin was young, he was handsome and foreign and dressed like the kids that would glare at him during school. He was preppy and probably finished his homework every night and had family dinners with both of his parents and had a girl out there trying to catch his eye.

Geoff wasn't that. Geoff was a delinquent, a rebel. When parents looked at him he saw them push their kids from his view, people thought he was in a gang with all his tattoos. He didn't have family dinners because he no longer had a family, he had a list of girls out to kill him, he couldn't even give himself the life he wanted, how could he for this kid?

He took a deep breath, maybe if he played along, he can get out of this mess, “Okay,” He was wide awake now but he kept his eyes closed, listening to Gavin breathing. He'll enjoy the endeavour, give the kid something, but he knew he had to escape.

“Okay.”

 

They made plans for that night, Geoff borrowed Jack's truck and picked him up. He pulled up to a large house with a manicured lawn and a mechanized gate. He felt poor just looking at it.

He rang Gavin, “I'm outside.”

“I'll open the gate, just pull in,” He heard a thump, then the phone going dead.

He watched as the gate slid open, he felt his nerves go on edge as he gripped the steering wheel and tried to keep attention to the curving road. Gavin stood in the open doorway in khakis and a purple polo, his hair was a mess since he kept running his hand through it. He was smiling, though. Geoff returned it.

He stepped out of the truck, “Hey,” He said as he walked up to him.

“Hey,” Gavin reached for his hand and he didn't pull back as he lead into the house, he made sure to kick the door close behind him. Gavin was almost running, energy radiated out of him.

“Where are your parents?” He asked out of nerves, he didn't feel like meeting them. He probably should've asked before he agreed to this.

“Out, somewhere,” He said absentmindedly as he lead Geoff into a large kitchen, leaving him by the counter as he dug in the fridge, pulling out two beers. The house felt still, he was reminded of his own home.

“You're not allowed to be drinking,” He opened his can, watching as Gavin did the same.

“What are you going to do? Tattle tale on me?” Gavin teased, leaning on the island, the condensation on the can making his hands damp.

He raised an eyebrow at him, “Don't you have school tomorrow?” He shot back.

“It's March,” Geoff drew a blank, before realizing that it was school break.

“Is this what you do on your March break? Hang out with old men?”

“You're not old,” Gavin stood straight, grabbing at his hand again.

Geoff didn't resist, instead holding tight. He was brought into a living area, a large flat screen TV was indented into the wall with multiple consoles also imbedded into the wall. Hidden speakers sat in every corner and two large book shelves sat on either side of the TV, filled with movies and video games. A large couch sat in the middle of the area with a coffee table in front of it, a bar sat in the back corner.

He felt overwhelmed as he was brought to the TV, he watched as Gavin bent over and turned on one of the consoles His hand ruffled the kids hair and Gavin looked up at him.

They sat and played games and drank for what felt like hours. They switched consoles three times, Geoff only ever owned an xbox and wanted to try as much as he could. They sat side by side, not touching, with their feet on the coffee table and cans of beers surrounding them. The more alcohol they consumed, or the more Gavin did, the closer he got to Geoff. And Geoffrey ignored it, he ignored the way his arm tingled where Gavin was pressed into him now. He tried to control his drinking, tried to slow down, but soon he switched to whiskey.

“You mentioned your friend, Mike or something, he was matched with a guy right?” He shifted, his controller hanging out of his hand as Gavin took his turn.

“Yeah, Michael, what about it?” Gavin was slow with his words, his accent thickening with every can.

“What's with all the sudden same-sex matches?” He watched as he failed his turn, taking over as Gavin whined. “Do you think we reached our limit on the amount of people on earth? What if I want kids?” He was ranting, he felt himself ranting, “This guy I worked with got matched with this other kid, too, and he's 20 years older then him! 20 years! Shouldn't the ages be closer? Is there a reason for that?”

Gavin twisted himself on the couch, cross-legged, watching as Geoff talked and played game, “You want kids?”

He looked over at the lad, eyeing his mood at the thought, “Eventually.”

The subject was dropped when Geoff tossed his controller at the foreigner, claiming the game was faulty and doesn't he have any good games?

He ignored the way Gavin's leg planted itself on his own, an argument over a match resulting in a kick from Gavin, his leg not bothering to move afterwards. He tried to slow his drinking, tried to pay attention, but it was very hard when Gavin wandered towards the bar. He watched as he poured Geoff whiskey and he got himself a beer, his polo way to tight on his lithe frame.

“I don't think I can play anymore,” He said as Gavin sat himself down beside him. He tossed the controller on the coffee table, stretching out his arms.

“We can watch a movie?” Gavin managed, turning and nuzzling his face into his arm. His face was flush.

“You're...” He struggled, looking down at his mate, “Like a cat.”

Gavin sat up them, struggling as he sat on his knees and glared at him, “I'm not a cat you bloody git.”

“Woah, children shouldn't swear!” He laughed, pushing at Gavin, who tilted into the cushions.

“I'm not a child either!” He pulled away from Geoff, standing above him, the back of his knees hitting the end table and sloshing their untouched drinks. The alcohol making his already terrible balance almost dangerous.

“Prove it,” He dared, sitting back.

He would regret saying those words the next day, when he wakes with another hangover and marks. Right now, regret was the furthest from his mind, as Gavin straddled him. His hands fit themselves on his hips, his mind foggy and his promise slotted into the back of his mind. Gavin fit his face into Geoff's neck, his lips ghosting over his skin and making Geoff groan.

Alcohol jump started their bodies, making Gavin bold and Geoff weak willed. He knew he should be pushing Gavin off, should be running and digging himself a hole to hide in. But the body above him was warm and his blood was pumping and the thought of pulling away made him want to cry. Gavin bit at his neck, onto a tendon, as his hip grounded down. Geoff tensed, his hands ran themselves up his hips, raising the shirt. Gavin, with his abundance of hormones, was hard and pushing into Geoff's stomach.

“F-f-fuck,” He stuttered, reaching up and forcing Gavin to kiss him. Their lips burned when they touched and the colour around them flashed grey for a moment, and Geoff knew he fucked up then. He knew Gavin saw what he saw when both of them paused, their breath mixing over each other, their eyes dilated with a look of awe.

Geoff's phone went off then and he was ready to start believing god, he was afraid how far he would have gone if the shrill noise didn't cut through the fog.

“Ignore it,” Gavin whispered, his words aching and whispered into his mouth. Geoff felt torn, his body wanted to continue, but his promise kept him from pushing the boy over and setting himself on top of him, from asserting his dominance.

“It might be my ma,” He lifted him easily, setting him beside him, as he dug his hands into his pocket. His hard on pushing at his jeans made the movement that much difficult. He didn't recognize the number.

“Hello?” He answered, looking over at Gavin, who was opening his beer.

“Is this Geoffrey Ramsey?”

“Yeah, who's this?” Gavin looked up at him, the flush from their activities fading.

“You're the emergency contact for an Anabel Ramsey, yes?”

“What happened?” He stood, walking towards the bar and away from Gavin, who was up on his knees and watching him.

“Will you be able to come down to the St. Barbara hospital?”

“Yes, yeah, I'll be there,” and he hung up, knowing he wouldn't be getting any information over the phone.

“I have to go,” He looked at Gavin, tapping his phone on his hand. He felt cold.

“You can't drive,” Gavin stated, “I'll pay for a cab.”

Gavin didn't mention the phone call, how it sounded like an emergency, even though the alcohol in his system wanted to beg Geoff to stay. He wasn't stupid, wasn't an idiot, he knew when his time was up, he didn't want to push his luck. He pulled money out of his pocket.

“No, no, I can drive,” Geoff said even as he stumbled towards the couch.

“Don't be a gammy little spaf, you can't drive, and even if you think about driving, I will hate you for the rest of my life,” Geoff watched the sudden stiffness in the boys shoulders and didn't push it.

“I'll pay you back,” He said after calling the cab. They stood at the door, Gavin leaning against the wall opposite of Geoff, his arms crossed and his eyes closing in sleep.

“Don't worry about it,” He mumbled.

Despite his better judgement, and the four glasses of water, he moved up close to Gavin. He lifted his chin and gave him a peck.

Gavin opened his eyes, watching him warily, “What was that for?”

“I'm trying.”

 

 


	3. Pale Pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff's having bad Deja Vu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for panic attacks!

“Hey, hi, I'm looking for an Anabel Ramsey?” He stood in the cold antiseptic waiting room, trying not to throw up or slur his words.  
“One moment,” The lady behind the glass said, tapping her fingers on the keyboard. He pinched the bridge of his nose while he waited, “She was moved up to floor 2,” She didn't bother to look up at him.  
ICU. He went for the stairs, taking them two at a time, before once again waiting for a nurse's attention. Everyone looked haggard, she barely look at his ID before pointing him towards a door. He felt himself starting to hyperventilate, his heart beat increasing, having a panic attack in an hospital wouldn't be such a bad idea. He wasn't good with hospitals, he hasn't stepped in one in years, too many bad memories.  
His mother was hooked up to machines that made too much noise and the sheet around her looked too tight. He calmed his shaky hands by loosening the sheets, ignoring the ugly purple shaped bruises that lined her arms, probably covering her body. His parents probably had matching bruises. He was sitting in the chair on the left side of his mother, away from the machines, when the doctor came in.  
“Are you Mrs. Ramsey's son?” He held a clip board in his hands as he checked the machines over and making sure none of the tubes were shifted.  
Who else would be he? “Yes, what happened? Why is she in the ICU?” He fiddled with his cell phone again, he wanted to call someone, but it was too late.  
“She came in with a headache and stomach ache, pretty normal stuff,” He stood by Geoff, “She started hemorrhaging pretty soon after, and we discovered she had suffered a stroke along with massive internal bleeding,” He read down the clip board, shifted to lean on one leg. He was speaking too quickly, Geoff struggled to keep up. He caught words, like stroke, and hemorrhaging.  
Geoff felt ill, he never noticed, he wouldn't notice since his mother kept herself hidden in her room. He should have kept a closer eye on her, it was his job for god's sake, “It was probably a few days ago, we stopped the bleeding and she's now stable,” He looked up at Geoff then, his professionalism sliding a bit, “I'm sorry to say, while checking for reason why she had internal bleeding, we also found cancerous cells,” Just like that. No warning, no “Brace yourself,”, he just dropped his heart and forgot to tell him to catch.  
It felt like Deja Vu all over again. The awful smell, bright lights, loud machines and louder coughing in the halls, and the very almost dead body that lay beside him. Geoff leaned forward, on his knees, and tried to breath through his mouth. The doctor continued to talk, leaving soon after. He was sober now as he clutched his mother's hand.  
He never told his mother about Gavin yet, they barely speak beyond his curt scoldings on her well-being, a lot of good those were. All at once he felt fifteen again. The sudden push into adult hood, the empty pit in the centre of his chest, the burn behind his eyes, and the loneliness crushing him. He reached for his phone, unlocking it, before stopping himself, his hands shaking once more. Calling Gavin almost felt natural at this point, he wanted to hear the annoying kid and have him distract him. How quickly he got used to him. Instead he shoved it into his pocket and crawled onto the tiny hospital bed, careful of the tubs and wires, and curled himself into his mothers side.

He woke to someone stroking his hair, something his mother hadn't done since he was nine and got the chicken poxs and had to wear mittens in the middle of July. He felt the sleep on his tongue as the sun spilled into the hospital room. Loud noises surrounded them as he tried to work himself into talking. His tongue felt too fuzzy.  
“Stage 3, kidney,” She mumbled, talking into his hair. He didn't reply, he wanted to hear her voice, “You stopped crawling into bed with me the day after.” She sounded like herself, before everything, even though she almost died the night before and is going to die pretty soon.  
He doesn't remember the last night, he remembers waking beside her though as she cried.  
“I met my colour,” He managed, his eyes following a bird that shot by their window. He didn't want to remember anything.  
She didn't move, her hand not stilling, almost as if she hadn't heard him, “You know your father wasn't my colour.”  
He moved then, sitting up to look at her. Her skin was grey and lines circled her eyes, her lips a pale pink and cracked. He tried to remember when she aged so suddenly, she probably thought the same about him, “Where did the years go,” her eyes searching his face.  
“Dad wasn't your colour?” He questioned, ignoring how calloused his mothers hands felt..  
“He was my flip,” flipped colour, destiny's second try at getting it right.  
“What about your first?”  
“It wasn't working,” She licked her lips as she thought, “He was fine, average, but he didn't make me happy like your dad did. Your dad and I eloped, ran away like a couple of teenagers, but my bad luck followed me.” He thought of Gavin, how strong the pull was even though he was against the whole idea, how did his mother break away? Did she love his father that much?  
It was the most they've spoken in a long while, he listened with batted breathe as her eyes wandered towards the window. The same bird sitting on the ledge, “It took us five tries to have you, you know.”  
There was consequences to not mating with your colour, he thought it was only having the colours jumbled. Most don't avoid it, usually that person completes you. There's a reason why you are set with a person. He watched her face as a new thought crossed his mind; Geoff wasn't supposed to be born, his parent's atoms weren't supposed to join, and suddenly his life felt pointless. He got off the cramped bed, almost stumbling into the chair that sat beside it, he needed a drink. He needed to hit something. He wanted to mourn for his dead siblings.  
He was half way towards the door when he turned toward his mother, who sat watching him “You should get some rest.”

He wasn't aware where his feet were taking him till he stopped in front of the familiar house, the truck still sitting in the drive way. It was bright out, it was a glorious day, but everything felt empty. He was struggling with the bomb his mother planted, he was afraid he'll blow up if he sat idly at home.  
He struggled with the idea that his time line wasn't supposed to happen. If it wasn't, why did he get a colour? Is that why his colour is a guy? So the line doesn't continue on? The thought made his chest constrict, he never thought of kids, never wanted any. Now that the idea of his line going dead was there, he desperately wanted children. He looked up that the daunting house, wondering what this kid did to have his line die along with his.  
He pulled out his phone in one quick movement, dialing without thinking about it, suddenly needing to see him.  
He heard the shift of fabric before a groggy greeting.  
“I'm outside,” He leaned against the gate as the line went dead. He'll have to get used to that; used to not saying goodbye.  
Gavin stumbled out the door quickly after, the gate opening dramatically as he pulled a shirt over his head. He smiled at him and Geoff reached out. He saw Geoff's face and licked his lips, putting his smile away and reaching out.  
He was being lead inside, he was always being lead by the boy. The house was still empty, they avoided the kitchen and rec room, Gavin bringing him up to his bedroom. He felt the panic in the centre of his chest and he clutched at Gavin. Gavin sat on his bed and he followed, curling into the boy and trying not to cry. Even though he knew it was a bad idea to be there, there was something that was pulling him to Gavin. Gavin laid back, pulling Geoff, and he buried his face into his chest and immediately passed out.

He woke with a tight feeling wrapped around his forearm. Gavin was still beside him on the bed, a camera pointed at him. The shutter went off before he could react, his mind still foggy.  
“What.”  
Gavin put the camera on his bedside table, “I wrapped your arm up, it was bleeding all over me.”  
Geoff didn't know whether he should bring up the sudden picture or the fact that he was bleeding. A heavy fog hung over them, full of confusion and questions and answers that come with stutters. They sat settled into Gavin's bed, the sun slowly crawling over his wall, till Geoff's phone went off once again. He was going to ignore it, till he recognized Jack's tetris ring tone.  
Gavin didn't say anything as he answered it, “Hey.”  
“It's been a day, where's my truck?” Jack sounded slightly annoyed.  
“It's here,” He sat slowly, groggy, as he leaned against the wall. Gavin shifted with him, setting his head on his arm as he tried not to eavesdrop.  
He heard Jack sigh, “Where's here?”  
“Gavin's, think you could pick it up here?” He gave the address and hung up, telling him to call once he's outside.  
They settled back into silence. Geoff was still in shock, mostly, and Gavin was comfortable with just having him there. He started to feel guilty, leaving his mother there alone, till the anger of the last few years bubbled up. Being left to defend on his own, having to clean up every broken glass, make sure his mother stayed alive, the thought making his breathing more difficult.  
Yet, he couldn't bear the thought of living on without that one purpose: to protect his mother because his father failed. When she's gone, what is he to do? After all, he wasn't meant to exist. He doesn't have a purpose, and by some fluke, he managed to get a colour. He tries to see his future, he's never thought beyond tomorrow, but now he has to think years in the future. And he feels overwhelmed.  
Gavin, so unused to so much silence, finally moved, “Are you okay?”  
“I'm fine,” even as he said this he felt how tense his muscles were.  
“I'm not an idiot, you're not fine,” He sat up, turning and crossing his legs, looking at Geoff.  
He started to feel it in the centre of his chest, a pressure that started to build. He was sure he was having a heart attack, he could feel it jack hammering itself, trying to escape from his chest. He was aware of Gavin, he was certain Gavin could see it. He pupils being blown out, his hands shaking, his breathing becoming increasingly erratic. He was sure that if he moved too quickly, he'll fall apart, that if he looked to his right too fast he'll snap his own neck. All possibilities of his death rang through his mind at once, till he was in a full blown panic attack.  
He started gasping but before he could cry Gavin was holding him. He was unaware of Gavin's movements, how he had moved so quickly beside him and had pulled him into his arms, forcing Geoff to twist and lay down with his face in the lad's chest.  
His arms wrapped around the small waist, “I got kicked out of two schools, before,” He strained to listen beyond the rushing of blood in his ears, “My parent's didn't know what to do with me, I pulled pranks, skipped classes, once got caught half naked in one of the classrooms with some bloke,” He felt his chest move as he laughed, “So we moved, all the way to bloody America. Mostly for my dad, who got some job, I was just an added bonus,”  
“I'm here for a month and find myself wandering downtown and go into one of the shops and all I see is blue. You were there, looking pissed, but totally oblivious. I stumbled on my way to the desk, not paying attention to the coffee table, and I'm met with the most shocked looked I've ever seen on a person. It wasn't love at first sight for you, but it was for me.”  
He tightened his grip, the day feeling years ago, even though it was only a week before. A week before he was living on a day to day basis, he only had his mother to think about. He spent his time hanging out with Jack, drinking too much, playing too many video games, and trying to keep a steady hand at work. Now his mother is dying and the boy under him smells like laundry detergent and hair gel and has a vine of green wrapping up his arm. He didn't want to fight it anymore, he was tired of fighting it.  
He knew eventually his mother would be gone, that he'll find himself cleaning up only after himself, but he assumed it would be in the dull grey that he was accustomed too. Now he had another person, and he didn't want to let go of him. So he looked up at the boy, who had his eyes closed once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter ends weird for me, I don't like it. But It's been forever since an update so I wanted to get a chapter out. You get more information on the AU. Oh and I'm not a medical expert and I don't think google is either, so I kind of winged what happened to his mother.  
> Thanks for reading and for all the lovely comments! I'm having a lot of fun writing this!


	4. Hickey Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hormones and Video Games and Ages and the introduction of Joel and Ray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HATE DIALOGUE?

He was uncomfortable, he sat up with a groan of his legs, and Gavin opened his eyes to watch him move. The lad sat back against the wall, looking at him curiously. Before he could lose the nerve, he pushed his lips against the boys. He leaned on his fists, over him, and felt Gavin tilt his head so their kiss fit perfectly. He didn't know if he did it to stop the train wreck that was his thoughts or to simply say thank you.

Gavin hummed when he pulled away, slightly embarrassed, “I'm guessing you're okay now.”

He didn't reply as he pulled Gavin towards him, falling backwards himself, setting the boy on top of him. He didn't give him a chance to reply as they kissed once more, Geoff's hands pulling on Gavin, his hands in his hair and on his hips as Gavin yelped in surprise. Gavin's body was ten steps ahead of him, reacting quickly as Geoff slipped his hands under his shirt.

His panicking shifting, the sudden increase in adrenaline needed to go somewhere. He tilted his hip forward, reaching for friction that Gavin quickly gave. Gavin was flustered at his point, breathing heavily into the crook of Geoff's neck as they pushed into each other. Geoff's hands found Gavin's buttons, unbutton his shorts as Gavin's hands worked at his own. They were moving quickly, accompanied by Geoff's adrenaline and Gavin's youth.

They stripped down to their underwear as Geoff rolled him over, putting him on top as Gavin squirmed beneath him. His skin shown with sweat and his chest rose up and down rapidly. He kissed him to stop his erratic movements, opening his mouth and tilting his head so their kiss deepened. He grind down hard, making Gavin groan into his mouth and his legs to tense.

They moved wantonly against each other, moaning into each others mouths. Geoff's hands wrapped themselves around the lads wrist, pinning him down.

Then the devil himself called Geoff's phone.

They both stopped, looking at each other. Gavin broke, trying to suppress his laughter, the tense air crumbling. The flush embarrassment covered his tanned skin.

“Bloody hell,” He turned over as Geoff got up off him, also trying his best to hide his smile as he searched for his phone.

“You didn't tell me your colour was rich!” Jack's voice boomed from his phone, making him distance his ear from the receiver in a mock fashion as Gavin watched with an amused expression.

“I'll open the gate, just give us a sec,” He hung up before Jack asked questions.

“Your friend has great timing,” Gavin smiled up at him from the bed as Geoff pulled up his jeans, the legs turned out so he jumped up and down for a few moments.

“That's Jack,” He looked at the kid, “We probably shouldn't jump into it though.”

Gav leaned back into bed, looking at the ceiling in thought, “I've known you a week, but you are my colour.”

“There are a lot of factors,” He threw clothes on him, “Now show me how to open your gate.”

 

Jack gave Geoff a knowing smile when he walked through the gate. The air smelled like rain and worms were making their way back into the dirt, the sun was still high in the air though, he maybe slept for an hour or two. Gavin was hopping on his heels, his excitement at nothing was radiating into Geoff so now he felt excited for no real reason. He smiled at Jack.

“So you're the infamous Gavin,” He stretched out his name in a teasing tone, looking at Geoff.

“Shut the fuck up, dude,” Geoff tossed the keys at Jack, who caught it with a swing of his arm.

“So you're the infamous Jack!” Gavin's voice was more up-there, he was smiling widely.

“I'm the one who keeps him in check,” Jack nodded his head thoughtfully.

“That is not true at all,” He smiled as he shook his head, crossing his arms.

“No, remember back when I was in high school and you were being a delinquent we snuck in one of the classrooms during lunch and just _filled_ it with marbles?” He shifted legs, looking at Gavin now who was listening excitedly, “You were, what, probably two? And these were all different sizes so everyone that walked in the room when the bell rang got these massive bruises.”

“It wasn't _that_ bad!”

“You didn't get _caught_?”

“This shithead didn't even go to that school and I was the perfect student.”

They continued for a good ten minutes, the sun burning their scalps and Geoff shot down every extravagant story Jack told while Gavin asked a hundred questions. It was after Jack left that Gavin's phone went off, apparently the world decided Geoff wasn't allowed to have some alone time with his color.

“Ray!” He shouted, much to his chagrin, into the phone. He pulled a beer out of the fridge, who cares what the clock says? As he listened to Gavin.

“No you bloody git we're not _banging_!” He smiled sheepishly, “You took all the damn lube, the towns run out! IT'S A CHRISIS RAY!” Ray, apparently, didn't like ruining his vocal cords so the other end was quiet. “Yeah, kay, we'll be here.”

He looked quizzically at the lad as he hung up, pulling out a bottle of beer from the fridge and opening it up, mumbling a thanks for getting him one too sarcastically. He leaned back and finally looked at him, “Ray's comin'.”

 

Sometimes, after colours join or meet or what you want to call it happens they become this one unit. Still did not stop Geoff from being surprised when Ray walked in with a very tall, very tired looking man, who apparently doesn't own a comb.

“Hey,” He lifted his beer from the couch.

“Man,” He heard the shorter of the two mumble, he watched as the oldest visibly cringed and pushed him into Gavin.

“I'm Joel, I'm hungover,” He picked up Gavin's forgotten controller and joined in Geoff's quest to kill everything and everyone.

“I'm Geoff.”

“I'm Ray,” Ray said, plucking the controller from Joel's hand and sitting in his lap. Joel made no protest, instead wrapping his arms around his waist and watching the TV, “And I'm going to kick your ass.”

And proceeded to. Painfully, Gavin laughed as he sprawled his legs on Geoff's lap, his toes prodding Ray in order to distract him. Geoff tossed the controller at Gavin, calling them dicks as he cracked another can, the hiss echoing through the room. He watched Joel playfully tease Ray, his face nuzzling into his neck and blowing raspberries, trying his best to distract him as well. Ray wasn't having any of it, apparently already used to Gavin and Joel's antics.

He stood up, almost rolling a squawking Gavin onto the floor, “I'm getting another beer.”

“I'll come with, let the kids play,” Ray stuck his tongue out at him without missing a beat, his score already the double that of Gavin's and Geoff's work.

“So, you and the kid?” Geoff nudged his head towards the living room, a smirk crossing his face.

“Two years now, if you count the waiting period,” He went straight for the fridge, pulling three bottles out and tossing one to Geoff.

“What the fuck's a waiting period?” He grabbed a spoon and opened the bottle that way, he had the last can before.

“I was teaching classes, I was a sub for this economics class, I mean I was already pushing 30 and pretty used to the whole grey and black and white bullshit,” he pulled a bottle opener from his keychain, “This scrawny kid with glasses is sitting there,” They heard Gavin yelling in the next room, followed by Ray's loud laughing, “Said I wouldn't start seeing him till I was done my time there.”

“You two have a clear decade between each other, that doesn't bother you?”

“Why would it? He's gonna be 18 in a few months, were, you know, matched or whatever, it's not like I stole him off the playground,” He stared off for a second, “I didn't steal him off the playground.”

They sat quietly for a few moments, both lost in their thoughts. Geoff thinking about his age and Gavin's age and why God was playing such a cruel trick on him, Joel thinking the perfect technique to acquire twice as much points on the game they were currently playing.

“Joooooo-eeeeelllllll,” Ray ran in, a stumbling Gavin following.

They kissed, well Ray kissed quickly, pulling back, “You taste like beer.”

Gavin sat on the counter by Geoff, his feet kicking, “I think Ray's cheating,” He whispered, regaling Geoff with their bitter defeat in the video game.

“I think you just suck dick.”

 

They played games, they drank (Well Ray refused to and after a long discussion on the pros and cons of alcohol consumption they dropped the subject), Gavin attempted the worm, Joel complained that no one was concerned about the stock market and he needed older friends, and Ray kicked their ass at all the games. It lasted till two in the morning, Ray was nodding off and Joel was sprawled out on the couch with him.

“Let's go,” Gavin attempted to stifle his giggle, pulling on Geoff's arm.

“Shh, you brat,” but he followed, and despite slowing his drinking, still stumble his way up the stairs, crashing Gavin's door open.

Gavin was on him, his hands pulling on his shirt and latching his mouth onto his. He groaned, pushing Gavin onto the bed and following. He leaned on his elbows, pushing his lower half onto a squirming Gavin, who wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down for an open mouth kiss.

He felt the lads tongue swipe across his lips, so he opened his mouth and tilted his head and deepened the kiss. They disconnected quickly to remove their shirts and they kept grinding on each other, both lost in the haze of the alcohol that made their limbs sluggish but didn't stop their bodies from reacting just the same.

They undressed each other the best they could while lying horizontal, their legs kicking while they kept trying to kiss. And they found themselves where they were that morning, albeit more naked and more drunk. Geoff grabbed Gavin's wrist, raising them high as he nuzzled into his neck, biting and kissing, trying to make as much marks as he could.

Gavin made low needy noises, closing his eyes and bending his head back to give him more skin. Their skin was hot to the touch as the sweat made them rub against each other the right way. Geoff reached down, hesitant as his fingers stroked Gavin's stomach. Gavin hitched his hip, craving friction as he kissed him, grabbing his hand and pulling it down, gasping.

Geoff complied, groaning as he bucked his hips into Gavin while stroking him quick and rough. He shifted onto one elbow, grabbing both their dicks and pumping them both, watching Gavin as he closed his eyes and groaned into the touch. He bent over and breathed heavily into Gavin's neck. Gavin was moaning loudly, his legs were tensing as his fingernails made trails down the gent's back. He quickened his pace and Gavin helped by bucking into his hand.

He bit his neck as nails left dark red marks down his back, letting swear words slip as the heat increased around them. He lifted his head kissing the boy who was a mess beneath him. Gavin gasped.

“I-I'm gonna...” Gavin barely let slip before he came, his accent thick.

Geoff followed, groaning loudly into the crock of Gavin's neck, trying his best to not fall on top of the boy. He turned over, grabbing a forgotten shirt and tossing it to Gavin, who got most of the mess. The noise of their breathing followed as Gavin cleaned himself off.

“Fuck whiskey dick,” he chuckled, Gavin laughed as he threw the shirt at him. “Gross,” He tossed it.

“So sleepy...”

Geoff opened his arms. Gavin crawled onto the bed, turning his head and giving him a kiss. They were weak and foggy and in a euphoric bliss that comes with an orgasm as they drifted to sleep, curled together.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I was gonna have Joel talk to Geoff and calmed him down some. But the whole mother thing kind of worked itself out. Have some almost sex as my apology for the long time it took for me to update. I have it mostly written and all planned out, I just need access to internet. Don't worry, I plan on making it more hot and heavy in later chapters and none of his teasing.


	5. Pale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick, I have internet for five minutes, let me just quickly post a chapter.

Geoff would like to say he woke up easily. That the sun flooded the room and he woke with his face buried in Gavin's hair, his arm trapped beneath the lads head and the other winding itself around his body. He would love to say that, he wants nothing more for that to be true.

Unfortunately, life still hated him.

He woke flushed, sweaty, his breathing coming out quick and short. They weren't curled together in a bliss that would rival his first kiss, Gavin was almost hanging off the bed while Geoff had stapled himself to the wall. He sat quickly, trying his best not to jolt Gavin up as he crawled out of bed, searching the doors in the hallway for the bathroom.

He threw up. Long enough that Gavin eventually woke up to find him cold and weak in the bathroom. His need to empty his stomach overrode his need to feel embarrassed. He blamed it on his hangover. No one really pays attention to the bile that comes up, who would want to, you're just trying your best to get it all out. It's probably why they both missed the blood.

 

“I have to go see my ma,” They were sitting in the bathroom, Geoff afraid to move and Gavin sat beside him, homework perched on his knee.

“Where is she?” He was chewing on his pencil.

“Hospital.”

“Is she okay?”

“She's dying.”

 

Geoff still wasn't comfortable walking into the hospital, with its bright lights and awful smell that seemed to latch onto his clothes and follow him. Gavin helped some, but he wasn't a cure all pill that made Geoff not want to run out the doors and take a long shower. He kept him grounded though, panic still sat in his gut.

She was as she was when he ran out, albeit paler and more unconscious. The room smelled heavy and thick with sweat and antiseptic. They both shuffled in, Gavin stood awkwardly by the door, he had no clue what to do with himself, Geoff sat by the bed, swallowing his guilt. Maybe he shouldn't have ran out, maybe they should have talked, now it looks like she can't even open her eyes.

“Ma?” He patted her hand, her skin was cold. The room was cold too, they wanted to keep her comfortable, how is keeping her in Antarctica helping? “Ma, It's Geoff.”

“She won't wake up,” A doctor walked in.

Geoff knew she wouldn't, he's been through this sick ride, he thought he could at least try.

“Why?” Gavin spoke though.

“She's been sedated, her bodily functions are failing, I'm assuming you're her son?” He looked at Geoff, who made an uncommitted noise, before turning to retrieve a clipboard hung on a wall, “The cancer was already pretty progressed when she came in, it won't be too long now.”

“You can't do anything?” Gavin screeched, his voice going high enough that it should have woke her.

“Gavin,” Geoff shouted, sharp. He clammed up then, leaning against the wall, looking like a hit dog.

“Like I said, we're just trying to make her comfortable now,” The doctor didn't look fazed at all at their interaction, instead moving to her I.V. And checking numbers. He left pretty quickly after, making his rounds.

“Why are you acting like a bloody knob? She's dying and you're acting like a tosser,” Gavin mumbled, still set on pouting.

“I've been through this before, it's similar to them just falling asleep, nothing you can fucking do about it.”

“Who was it?”

“My dad, these two were a pair, both leaving mid-life with the big C.”

Gavin didn't want to leave Geoff there, upset and looking like he'd murdered somebody. So he pulled a chair beside his, the loud scrapping 'causing Geoff to give him a look of annoyance, and settled beside him.

 

They sat like that for a few days, well they moved and left for an hour or two to pick up things, mostly board games and clothes. Jack and Ray came and went, offering distraction and food. Geoff tried to get Gavin to go home, to rest on a real bed and not squished with him on a cot, but he refused.

His mother stayed in bed, nurses came and went, the beeping of the machines eventually faded in the background. She wasn't having treatment, even though she became skinner and paler, she remained the same. She woke a couple of times, waking is a generous word as she only opened her eyes a slit and squeezed Geoff's hand if he was there.

And he tried to stay there by the bedside, but there's only so much hours you can spend sitting by a bedside before you go stir-crazy. They were in the middle of a game of monopoly when all the machines in the room started beeping, climbing higher.

Gavin covered his ears, his eyes full of panic, “Geoff!”

“Fuck! Fuck!” He was up, kicking the board under the bed as he stood, scattering game pieces everywhere. He grabbed her hand, screaming obscenities. Not yet, he wasn't ready, he wanted a few more days.

“Christ!” Gavin was up and slammed into the wall by some rushing nurses, one grabbing and pushing him towards the door, ordering him out, “Geoff!”

“No, don't fucking touch me!” Geoff was pushing against anyone who touched him causing him to roughly pull on her hand, “Leave her alone!” The guilt was heavy on his shoulders, “Leave us alone!” He had to be there if she planned on leaving, if he couldn't be before he had to be now.

The nurses and doctors worked around him, some dissipated as the beeping ended on one final long note. They didn't touch him as the doctor called time of death, rolling machinery out and around Gavin, who sat on the floor.

It was maybe hours they sat in an eerie silence. Geoff hated himself for those hours. He sat in his self-loathing as Gavin sniffled behind. He cried, wetting the sheets and his mothers skin, the grief hitting him with a force that took his breath away. He wasn't an adult anymore, he was a child who lost his parent, sitting by their death bed and crying, this time he didn't have a mother sitting beside him to hold him together.

And he couldn't hold it together by himself, his crying was becoming erratic, “G-Gavin,” He sobbed.

He heard the shuffling of feet then felt arms wrap around his shoulders, despite trying to hold it together, Gavin was still sniffling into his shoulder. The grief was suffocating them. He had no family, they're being picked off his tree by a hateful god. He cried, louder the more he thought and the colder she got.

 

They went to Geoff's after settling with the doctors. The house was still, all the blinds closed and the food in the fridge gone bad. They walked by his parents closed door and into his room, stripping down, crawling into bed and wrapping themselves around each other. Eyes red from crying or trying not to cry, they fell into a fitful sleep.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, where am I going with this, what am I doing. I'm a writer that's living off two hours of sleep.  
> I love comments, I live off comments, I save every email that I get from AO3 and I cherish them.


	6. Blue-ish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything must get bad before it gets good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so because I feel awful for not updating in one hundred years I'll post two chapters and smut eh?

Gavin didn't understand why he was feeling so emotional about a person whom we never met and never will, but he was drained and tired but waking up to Geoff swearing in the bathroom forced him to sit. His muscle ached as he stretched, standing and walking towards the bathroom and kicking it open lightly, finding Geoff on the tile floor once again. Deja Vu settled on him as he poured a glass of water.

“Sick?”

“No, I'm training for my dance recital, gonna be a big one,” He spit into the toilet.

“Are you still hungover?”

“Fuck if I know,” He could hear the frustration in his voice.

“Well don't have to act like a mingy little prick,” He said as he pulled out his phone, deleting messages from his parents without reading.

“Sorry, I'm sorry, I just feel like dicks,” Geoff crawled away from the toilet, sitting himself beside Gavin's legs and leaning his head on him.

Gavin sighed, heavily, as he slid down the wall and sat beside him. He wasn't mad, not even slightly annoyed, he was just tired. Despite feeling like shit, like he would have to go on living his life seeing colors without being with his color, for weeks, he was completely smitten with the man. It's not like there was any question, his atoms were already chosen for this mess of a man. And he was okay with him being a mess, he was equipped to deal with it, he has no other distraction besides school.

He decided to get Geoff up, move him to the bedroom. When he stood he glanced in the toilet, quickly, but the color red caught his eye. Basic health class would tell you that blood should be inside you, if its out, means something might be wrong.

“Geoff?”

He looked up at the boy, that's when he noticed he was paler, “Yeah?”

“Th-there's blood Geoff? Are you alright?” He kneeled quickly, banging his knee on the floor.

“Blood? What blood?” He looked around him, at his hands, then searched Gavin's face and body.

“In the toilet? Geoff what the hell, are you okay?”

“In the toilet?” Gavin was started to get annoyed with the questioning.

“Yes in the bloody toilet! You've obviously puked blood! There's bloody blood in the bloody toilet!” He pulled him up, giving Geoff the spins, and took him to the bedroom. He set him down as he pulled his phone out, doing the stupid thing and googling the symptoms instead of calling a medical professional.

“Woah, calm down, it's probably nothing,” Geoff pawed at his legs, “I've done it before.”

Gavin turned on him, “You've done it before? And didn't do anything about it? Are you insane?”

Geoff looked confused, “Why are you getting so upset? It's my body, not yours, just because fate thought we were right for each other doesn't mean you get to act like my personal nurse!”

He glared at him, “Blood is supposed to be inside, not outside, not in the toilet, not on the floor or walls or hands or anywhere else!” He threw his hands up, the light of the phone bouncing off Geoff's pale skin, “Now stop acting like a cockbite!”

He opened his mouth, thought about it, instead turned and laid on the bed, facing the wall and ignoring Gavin's angry typing.

“...Swollen veins in the walls of the lower part of the esophagus, and sometimes the stomach, may begin to bleed. These veins are present in people with severe liver damage...” Geoff turned, watching and listening as Gavin read, “Other causes may include: bleeding ulcers in the stomach, first part of the small intestine, or esophagus. Defects in the blood vessels of the GI tract. Swelling-”

“It's probably nothing, I threw up a lot, I probably just tore something-” Liver damage?

“Geoff we have to go to the hospital,” Gavin watched the thought process that crossed the mans face. He needed to get him to the hospital, no more too little too late bullshit.

“I-I can't,” He sat up, “Gavin no, I'm not going,” The authority of the claim died off. He looked defeated though, he looked absolutely terrified at the thought.

He sat and watched the uncertainty crawl across his colors face, deciding that it can wait.

“Fine, but we're going soon,” And Gavin let the worry delve deep into his gut as he crawled into bed beside Geoff, who curled his arms around the youngest, making a mental note to call the doctor tomorrow.

 

They laid down for a few hours, turning into each other, till their bodies ached for movement and they sat up. Geoff was still on autopilot, he unconsciously avoided his parents bedroom, as they made their way downstairs.

“Geoff-”

“I'm starving, we should order food,” He stuck his head in the refrigerator before recoiling in disgust, “There's nothing here edible.”

Gavin hopped up on a counter, pushing dishes out of the way, “Pizza?”

He already had his phone out.

Gavin looked around at his surroundings as Geoff ordered, the kitchen as a disarray of food, dishes, and pieces of paper. He picked up one, 'Tv @ 6' and other random wording. There were stickers stuck on the fridge along with a calender, it was a few months behind. His phone started vibrating against his leg.

Pulling it out he glanced at the number before hanging up once again.

“What was that?” Geoff settled up against him.

“Parentals,” Gavin wrapped his arms around him, asking for a kiss and avoiding the subject. His mouth tasted like iron.

They settled in the living room. Geoff grabbing onto Gavins shirt and pushing him into the couch, his hand crawling under his shirt and 'causing Gavin to make whimpering noises. He bit down onto his neck before licking over the mark, Gavin's hands came up and held his face as he kissed him. He groaned into his mouth and his teeth swiped across his teeth. Geoff's right hand kept him up as his left rubbed roughly against Gavin's dick, through two layers of clothing. Gavin was twisting, pushing up for more friction, as he tried to keep his head up to keep Geoff's mouth on his.

They were breathing heavily. Gavin's arms wrapped around Geoffs neck, bringing him down to properly kiss him. Geoff obliged, his fingers trailing around the lad's waist. Gavin started making noises loudly, started to move desperately, to get Geoff riled up enough to go further. His leg kicking and wrapping itself around the older's leg, pushing them closer, Geoff falling onto of him ungracefully and groaning as their dicks brushed against each other.

Pizza went forgotten as they both became erratic, Geoff pulling on their clothes and Gavin's fingers paw at his skin. Bruising it so it's a dark purple by tomorrow morning, he takes in the tattoos that crawl across his arms and around his shoulders, like a cape meant to keep him warm. His thumb runs across a distorted clock on his bicep, Geoff sits up and settles himself between his lovers legs.

“Are you okay?” He asks, his eyes crawling over Gavin's face, making him blush since they're both almost nude.

“Mhm,” He hums.

He leans over him, kissing his collarbone and lower down his chest, tasting his flesh as Gavin whimpers under his touch. His hands rubbed his legs, teasing Gavin the higher they went.

“Geoff, Jesus! Get on with it!” Gavin was eyeing him, his chest coming up and down rapidly.

He chuckled under his breath, before pulling Gavin's shorts down and kissing his thigh. He tongued him, his mouth coming down on the head as Gavin made a very loud noise. He went down as far as he could, his hands holding down Gavin's thighs as he bobbed.

“Christ!” Gavin's hands shot up, covering his blushing his face as heat pooled in his stomach. “Geoff, I-” He went surprisingly quiet as he came, his feet pushing against Geoff, who swallowed with a smirk.

“Virgin.”

“Shut up, you knob,” But he was smiling and he was breathless. His hands came down to lay themselves on Geoff's head.

Geoff shook him off, sitting up and kissing Gavin. Gavin could taste himself on his tongue. He pulled at his shorts, till they were both naked and Geoff had Gavin's hands pinned up above him. He prodded Gavin's mouth open, which Gavin opened happily, till his fingers were generously lubricated.

“This might hurt,” his fingers found their way, causing Gavin to yelp, “like, a lot.”

He went slow, Gavin whining into his neck, “D-don't you have lube or something!”

He sighed, “Yeah, I was just too lazy,” but he stood at request, leaving Gavin panting as he rushed upstairs and stumbling around his room for half a minute. He stumbled back downstairs, grabbing Gav and bringing him to the floor and setting him on top of him.

Gavin's skin was red as he watched Geoff pour lube on his hand and stroke himself, before his hands made itself back to its place, a familiarly feeling tingled his fingertips as he watched. Gavin himself wrapped his hand around Geoff's cock, watching as the older of the two moan softly at the touch. Gavin made a chocked noise when Geoff's fingers opened him up, his hand stuttering, as Geoff pushed three fingers into him. They moved slowly. Gavin made a loud noise when he twisted his fingers just the right way, he grinned as the lad bent over him. Gavin needed more.

“Stop teasing, fucking-” Geoff watched the boy above him as he manoeuvred him above him, groaning deep in his throat when he Gavin started lowering himself onto his cock.

Gavin was cringing at the feeling, he was burning in all the right ways, as Geoff watched. He whimpered as he bottomed out, sitting still to get used to the feeling. Geoff watched in fascination at the way Gavin looked, his mouth half hung open and his eyes squeezed shut.

“Okay,” Gavin mumbled, mostly to himself, as he started to raise himself. Geoff groaned, giving him the encouragement he needed as he came back down. His hands settled themselves on Geoff's shoulders as he started moving faster. His eyes watching as Geoff lost it. He couldn't hold out much longer himself, he made unintelligible noises as he sat up and leaned back. Gavin felt so good around Geoff.

Geoff's hands came up and grabbed onto his hips, lifting him and bringing him back down. He was going to have bruises in the morning. It was then that Gavin gasped, his toes curling, as he saw stars behind his eyelids. And he was so close, his muscles clenched with every thrust, till he couldn't stand the build up.

“G-Geoff, ri-right there, oh god,” he started riding him harder, desperately trying to hit the spot as before. Gavin held his breath at every thrust, he could get used to this.

The hectic last few days came out in their fucking, Geoff's back hurt from the carpet as Gavin groaned loudly. Geoff watched Gavin come undone with hungry eyes, he couldn't stand it. Gavin was the first to come, spilling onto Geoff's chest. Geoff kept up his pace before loudly moaning into Gavin's kiss, his hands clenching around the lad, licking the inside of his mouth.

They laid on the floor, spent, their muscles ached.

After awhile the silence was interrupted as Geoff's stomach growled, “Did you hear the doorbell?”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will be the death of me.


	7. White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hospitals are awful, aren't they?

Gavin woke in the middle of the night, bruised and sore, curled into tatted arms. His skin felt clammy as he searched his surroundings. The room was pale and gave him the chills, there was an eerie silence surrounding him. He didn't feel right, something was off.

He twisted, pushing Geoff's shoulder to wake him, “Geoff, love.”

Geoff made a noise, his arm snaking out to wrap around Gavin's waist, “Sleep.”

“No, Geoff,” He pushed harder, resisting against him till he eventually sat up.

Annoyance rolled off him as he shot Gavin a look, softening at Gavin's obvious look of fright, “What's going on?”

Gavin stuttered, he hadn't thought beyond waking him up. He felt his heart beating in his chest at the worry that was still gnawing at him, “I can't sleep...”

“Why?” Geoff stretched, ignoring the aches, as he pulled Gavin closer to him.

Gavin settled in his arms, back to his chest, as he tried to form words, “I don't know.”

He started coughing then, it shuddered through both of them so much that Gavin moved away to make sure he was alright. His face turned red as he scrambled to get up, slipping on the forgotten blanket on the floor and banging into the bathroom door. Gavin quickly followed, he watched as Geoff missed the toilet and instead threw up their dinner in the tub instead. The red was harder to miss this time.

“G-Geoff!” He fell beside him, his hand hovering above him, he had no clue what to do.

The noise was awful, the gagging followed by the noise of liquid splashing against the tub. Geoff was groaning after every bout, almost begging Gavin, he never got to finish his sentence as his body reacted violently.

He did was he should have done yesterday, he called the damn hospital.

 

After 10 minutes of violent throwing up, they had a short window as they raced to the hospital. They woke Jack up with three calls, Gavin screeching into the phone as Geoff laid helplessly on the floor. They barely made it into the hospital before Geoff keeled over, he forgoed searching for a bathroom as more red colored the beige floor.

He was brought into emerg, Jack leaving for work after making Gavin promise to call, Gavin's hands still hovering, not touching anything. It was an all night ordeal. Gavin felt useless, he doesn't know what to do. He's never been sick in his life and no one in his life was ever sick. He was stuck between running through the halls screaming and curling his body protectively around Geoff.

“His liver is severely damaged,” different doctor, same hospital, always bad news. “It's failing and soon his other organs will follow,” Gavin didn't appear to be listening, “his throat is torn up, thankfully we managed to stall the throwing up,” Gavin was busy listing different ways he can kill the doctor, “He's on the organ transplant list, but unless he gets on soon, there isn't much we can do,” The discard needle box was directly behind him, he could easily shove several into him, “He should wake soon enough,” or he can rush him into the window, hope it breaks, maybe take him with him. “I'm sorry.”

 

“Geoff, you stupid mong,” He watched as Geoff blinked rapidly, his nostrils flair, his fingernails digging into his palms.

“Fuck,” He groaned, loudly, feeling his insides clench. He looked over at the lad, who looked like he hadn't showered in days, he wanted to bury himself in the sheets.

“You asshole,” He swore, his hand covering his, stopping him from drawing blood.

“I'm dying, aren't I,” It wasn't a question, he recognized the grief on his colors face.

“Unless you have a spare liver,” He looked pissed.

“I'm sorry,” His voice cracked, he wet his lips, “I'm sorry I did this to you, I'm sorry you were stuck with me-”

“Shut up, don't you dare,”

“I'm sorry, Gavin.”

Gavin jumped up, crawling into the bed and holding a palm over his mouth, “Don't you say goodbye, the only way you're allowed to die is from old age or my hand if you don't shut up.”

Geoff choked on his words, wrapping his arms around the youngest and holding him closer. Even though it hurt, he buried his face in his neck and kissed him over and over, holding his tongue as he tried to install the scent and feel of his lover in his head. Gavin cried, a quiet cry that shook his body and cause his muscles to spasm. Geoff hated himself for doing this to him, Geoff never wanted to cause this grief to another person. Gavin clung tighter to him, hoping if he does maybe he won't leave him alone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at the end, what's going to happen? Does anyone hate me yet? I kind of hate me, my poor boys.


	8. Neon Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff isn't getting better, but he isn't getting any worse; the hospital is making everyone stir-crazy, so off they go to play some games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just filler so I can get back into writing once more, nothing changes really. And I'm trying to get more practice with smut.  
> The greatest irony in my life is damaging my liver while writing this story. But I'm back from the hospital so I can write again! Thanks for sticking around, I've lost some of my confidence in my writing but I'm slowing gaining it back.  
> Still no regular updates because I'm trash, but this may be the second last chapter. Enjoy!

Geoff's body stalled it's dying, his liver had to work less. He stopped throwing up (thanks to pills), he stopped crying (thanks to Gavin), he stopped bleeding from every crevice (thanks to doctors). They laid in bed for days as the time ticked by on the clock in their room, Gavin eventually threw it out the window. They stopped doing nothing when Jack came by, eventually everyone came by, till every day someone was there to keep them distracted.

“You think they'll let us roll a TV in here?” Geoff laid on the bed, watching as his group of rag tag friends attempt to get comfortable, Jack talked loudly.

“Why not? It's not a prison,” Joel smacked a card down on the floor, 'causing Gavin to complain and Ray to quietly frown.

“Where'd we get a TV from?” Ray shuffled his cards, biting his lip.

“I can find one, hey wot's the bet on this game?” Gavin's head bumped against the bed, letting Geoff look at his cards.

“Nothing dipshit, we're broke as fuck,” Geoff said, knocking his leg against his head.

“We can bet something else, you can bet your shitty hospital food, I can bet this fine ass body,” Ray grinned, hand fanning over himself. Gavin rubbed his head.

“No one want's any of that,” Jack groaned.

“Hey,” Joel knocked Ray's hand.

“This is boring,” Geoff kicked the sheet covering him off, he felt his bones ache as he stretched. They all watched him curiously, “Let's go.”

“Go?” Gavin stood.

“Go where?” Jack followed.

“Hey, like Joel said, this isn't a prison,” He shuffled uncomfortably in his hospital gown, changing in the bathroom.

“Can he go?”

“Where would he go?”

“We,” Geoff walked back out, shrugging a sweater on, “Are going to an arcade.”

 

“I thought we were all,” Ray raised his fingers in air quotes, “broke as fuck?” Joel walked backwards in front of him, trying to get his attention with funny faces and a high nasally tone.

“I know the guy, me and Jack know the guy,” Geoff walked sluggish beside Gavin. Gavin knocked against him once in a while.

“How'd you get permission to leave?” Jack asked, eyeing him.

“Permission?”

“Christ.”

“It's not as if were going out to shot some heroin, we're going to play games and maybe make out in the dark corners?” He smirked at Jack's disapproving look.

“How do you feel?” Gavin whispered, tucking himself under his colors arm.

“Like I'm walking on glass, but the hospital is making me feel anxious.”

“One hour!” Jack yelled back at them, racing himself towards Joel. Ray side-stepped and laughed at Joel's sudden look of terror.

“Vav! My princess is in trouble!” He turned and fist pumped his hand into the air.

 

“Geoff-No, bloody hell we're going to get caught! Oh, Christ.”

“Shh.. if you stay quiet you we won't be.”

“I'm getting all dusty!”

Geoff's hand snuck into Gavin's shorts, his tongue licking a trail up his neck. Gavin shuddered beneath him, his muscles clenched and tight as he felt his cold fingers wrap around him. He bit down on his tongue. He felt Geoff's smirk against his skin, “Still want me to stop?”

Gavin's arms wrapped around Geoff's, stopping him from moving away. They were stuffed behind broken arcade games having snuck away as Ray shot aliens at an alarming rate. Gavin squirmed, his breathing coming out in huffs as Geoff pumped his hand. He nipped at his neck, having forgotten the rushed thrill of having his color against him.

“G-Geoff,” Gavin sounded panicked as he curled into him, Geoff slotted his mouth against his in order to quiet him. There was a low hum of people and excited noises of the arcade.

He pushed against him, ignoring the slight pain in his gut, forcing Gavin against the wall. He groaned as his dick brushed against the rough fabric of his sweats. He stopped his hand when he felt him harden further, drawing out a low whine from the lad.

“D-You-You can't just stop!” His face was flushed as he tried to babble. Geoff kissed him roughly, sharp, cutting his lip. He dropped to his knees and smirked at Gavin's face.

“You better learn how to hold your tongue,” He pulled the elastic of Gavin's shorts, pulling them down.

Gavin tried not to curse as he felt Geoff wrap his mouth around his dick, his tongue swirling the head. He tried harder not to thrust his hips when Geoff pushed him to the back of his throat, his nails digging into his thigh. Geoff bobbed, ignoring the throb of his dick. Gavin's hands tangled themselves into his hair, scratching his scalp. It wasn't long before they left his head and covered his mouth, trying to smother the cries as he came into the gents mouth. He gasped as he fell onto the dirty floor, blindly reaching out.

Geoff wrapped him in his arms as he came down from his high.

 

“I didn't think you were being serious,” Jack mumbled, his arms raised with the electronic toy gun in his arms.

“When am I never serious, Jack,” They both came back flushed and giggling.

“About 95% of the time,” Joel kept bumping into him as he widly shot at the screen. Ray was fake cheering behind them, “We should get going though, there's only so much free games he's gonna give us.”

“But dad,” They all whined at once.

 


	9. Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thing's have to get worse, before they get better, right?

Have you ever had an accident? Maybe you hit black ice, your old vehicle couldn't catch grip and slammed into the vehicle in front of you. Or you're walking down the street with your mother and you run up ahead and behind you there's a sharp screech, your mother's shout, then the slam of a car. You turn and your mother is already grabbing you because some drunk got behind a wheel of a car, cutting right between you two.

It's an instant thing. It's every day life cut with a sharp red ~~line~~. But it's stretched. The moment between normal and that instant panic is a long few moments. It's stopped time. The moment after the panic, the moment when realization hits you and everything around you is suddenly different; _time speeds up_. No sidewalk is safe, no seat belt secure, walking out the door scares you and loud noises frighten you. The world just isn't the same.

Geoff was scolded and put on lock down, his skin was paler, his steps were slower, but he didn't regret the risk if he was able to finally see his small family laughing.

Gavin, Ray, and Joel went across the street to the grocery store. Gavin was craving a red bull, Ray wanted blueberries, and Joel was assigned supervisor. So that left Jack and Geoff. Geoff was pouting in his hospital bed, picking at the I.V. Jack sat beside him looking over his body at the hospital TV.

“It's been a shit draw, Jack,” He stopped fidgeting, instead leaning back in bed and throwing an arm over his eyes. He feels hungover.

“I wouldn't say that,” Jack wouldn't, he's too nice.

He could feel the pinprick of tears behind his eye lids, “You'll watch him, right? Make sure he's not fucking shit up?”

“What are you talking about?” He knew what it was, he was going to firmly deny it though.

“Gavin, you'll make sure he eats his wheaties and shit?”

“Why?” Jack eyed him, the TV going ignored.

“I need to make sure he's going to be okay, okay?”

“And he will be, because you're going to be there with him.”

He moved his arm and stared up at the ceiling. The silence stretched till he got the strength to sit up, he looked at his friend, “You know there's no way I'm getting out of this mess,” Jack opened his mouth but Geoff continued, “Just say you'll keep in touch with him, please?”

Jack looked his friend over and swallowed around the lump in his throat, “If you promise this isn't a goodbye.”

Geoff smiled.

 

“Bloody hell you guys!” Gavin shouted, jumping as he was once again taken from behind.

“Gavin, buddy, you're falling behind!” Ray grinned.

Frustrated and defeated, Gavin leaned back into Geoff's arms. Geoff watched his friends battle while idly running fingers up and down his colors leg. He was starting to feel the heat behind his eyes, but figured if he ignored it, it would go away. Which in hindsight, was the one of the things that put him in the hospital.

He nuzzeled Gavin's neck, kissing his skin quietly as he inhaled hair gel and faint hospital soap. His whole body was on fire, but he felt so sluggish all he wanted was to lie in bed with Gavin beside him. He **loved** him.

“Geoff?” Gavin's hand clamped down on his, “Geoff, you're really warm.”

“Hm?” He closed his eyes burying his face into the lads hair.

“Really warm, Geoff this isn't right,” Gavin was hyper aware now, “Ray, can you get a nurse?”

“It's nothing,” He mumbled, wrapping his other arm around Gavin's middle. Ray was out the door.

Gavin moved slowly, his hand not leaving his, and got off the hospital bed just as the nurse strolled in. She tisked, a thermometer going between Geoff's teeth. Geoff was tired, the last thing he sees is his friends huddled on one side with Gavin on the other, his face etched with worry. He wanted to wipe it away but his body wouldn't listen. He squeezed Gavin's fingers before everything went black.

 

“Induced coma?” He sat with his hands between his thighs, “Why?”

“The cancer made him more susceptible to infection and disease, he was at more risk being awake while we wait for a donor. This is the best for him,” The doctor's grey eyes met his, “We've moved him up the donor list on account of his condition, but I can't make any promises.”

 

The room had dulled considerably. Their friends came in batches as spring break ended and school started. The televisions were removed, consoles as well. Gavin was by his side 24/7.

“Geoff, love,” he patted his arm, “want to get a tattoo together?”

He watched his eyes move behind his eyelids.

“We really should, then we'll run away,” His fingers trailed the art on his arm, “Go on a road trip till we settle down, that'll be fun.”

Gavin was adjusting, he was constantly adjusting. This was the first thing he craved, first person he was attatched too. He laid his head gently on his chest, avoiding the tubes and wires, ignored the lump in his throat. He doesn't know if Geoff could hear him, if he was listening.

“ **I love you** , you know that, right?” His words stuttered as he listened to his heart beat, “And I know **you love me** , so you'll come back, I know you're going to.”

“How long are you going to mope?” Jack knocked lightly on the wall as he walked into the room, he eyed the kid, “You look like you haven't slept in days, you know he's not going anywhere.”

“Hi Jack,” Jack stopped by the bed, “I'm fine.” He's okay.

“At least go stretch your legs,” Gavin sniffed, “I'll watch him.”

“No, no, I don't wanna,” Geoff looked like he was sleeping, “What if he wakes up and I'm not here?”

“You heard what the doctor said, not till he gets a donor, you'll be fine.”

In the end he was pushed out the room, told to check the gift shop, walk around the garden; not mope around because the chances of Geoff getting better had risen. If he stays still and quiet he'll be fine.

Gavin didn't know what to expect, it was like any other day. News was still shit, weather was perfect, babies were being born two floors up, it was regular programming. But there was a sick feeling in his gut, it numbed his limbs and made his tongue feel fuzzy and thick. But he ignored it. He could hear Jack talking to Geoff as he walked out of the room, the sound of a chair scrapping against the floor.

He wandered the hall aimlessly before walking down the stairs, nurses nodded to him in greeting as he walked outside. The first time he's been out since they went to the arcade. The sun burned his hair and warmed his skin, there was small puffs of wind that carried the smell of the flowers around the hospital. He picked at his nails when he got to the garden, watching a sickly little girl play in the dirt with her mother.

There were red roses, pink carnations, purple tulips, pretty daffodils and plenty of orchids. Tall sunflowers loomed by the bench he sat by, Peonies and lilies were mixed together. The girl had a neon orange dress and bright pink tights on, her mother wore purple sweat pants with sky blue tank top. The grass was green and lush, trees of every size closed in the garden.

He felt the pull. Something snapped in his chest and behind his eyes and the color flickered. It faded in and out, switched and flipped. He stood suddenly and fell forwards, getting the attention of the mother. He touched his eyes as the colors continued to flick on and off. Realization hit his body faster than his mind for he was half way back to Geoff's room in an instant.

The ignored the flurry of people as he stumbled quickly towards his room. Color started to fade, started to turn off, his ears started ringing and he was shaking so bad. Jack grabbed him before he went in the room and saw his face, his fingers at his eyes, Gavin saw the guilt in his face and could feel his hands shaking on his arm.

“No,” He shook his head violently, pushing against the older man to get into the room. Nurses were leaving.

“Call it,” The doctor stood by Geoff's bed, calm and collected.

“5:24 pm, August 18.”

“No,” He repeated, his back hitting the wall opposite the bed, the last color to leave was the blue of his colors tattoo. Gavin buried his face in his arms, his knees pulled up to his chest, and cried. _He wasn't there._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be a prologue. I intend to expand on this, going to explore different type of relationships that happen within this universe. Mostly second soulmates and polygamy and how those work clearly.  
> Gavin will be back, my poor angst ridden Gavin. There was already a hint within my chapters on what's gonna happen in my next story.  
> Thank you for sticking through this with me, it's been a long few months and my laptop's keyboard actually broke once.   
> Know that I was shaking while writing the ending.  
> I appreciate every comment and good criticism and kudos and hits, nothing made me want to push through more than those.


End file.
